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disconnect
A break in communication. Also could be the break between management's brain, their mouth, and their surroundings. Disconnects are routinely perceived by management when they are a) not getting their way b) don't know what's going on , or c) haven't had enough input and therefore feel the need to "manage." |
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dog food
Used in place of "junk", "garbage", "old", "legacy", etc.
Example would be, "That development environment is dog food on top of dog food, on top of dog food. Something is broken almost every day." |
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Don't boil the Ocean
Not to "over-think" a problem or issue. The most annoying vomit that I've ever heard !! |
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dovetail
Merge or combine two or more of something. Derived from old school carpentry. Our forefathers would be ashamed. |
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drill down
For someone to examine something in detail, feature by feature, regardless of level of management. Since this almost never happens in the course of real business (since such action might be interpreted as "taking ownership"), this term is used almost exclusively in the future tense, often as a threat. |
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Drink the Kool-Aid
Getting on board with management's program and/or vision after corporate coercion..
Origin was the mass suicide forced on members of Jim Jones' People's Temple church in Guyana in the early 80s, by making them drink arsenic laced kool-aid..
ex: "George really had some good reasons to phase in virtualization, but after his last one on one with his boss he eventually drank the kool-aid". |
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driven (__ driven, driven by __)
Indicating what makes something work, how something makes money or what motivates something. Most annoying use is "results driven", but can be "revenue driven, advertiser driven, etc." Initiatives are often driven by a manager.. Often driving or being driven has nothing to do with the concept that's being conveyed, as with most corporate vomit. |
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Due Diligence
Where I work, this is corporate slang for "we know damn well we aren't going to use this option, but we will pretend to research it anyways". I hear this almost every day. |
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e-anything
The practice of putting an "e" in front of just about anything and therefore making it "electronic" because electronic is cool. i-anything is also beginning to fall into this category first made popular by Apple. |
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embrace and extend
To copy another company's product and then add a few features. That's how it works in theory. In reality, most attempts at embrace and extend result in a buggy, overly-hyped knock-off which, through multiple versions, never quite attains the functionality of the original product being copied. |
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Embrace change
Almost always initially used in the context of "We must embrace change." Probably the most frightening form of corporate vomit out there. Alarm bells should immediately go off in your head if you hear this sentence uttered by anyone above you. Something very negative is about to happen (this de-hiring, benefit reductions, or a mass restructuring of the organizational chart that will NOT be to your benefit.)
It's simply management's way of warning you, "This is painful. We know it's going to be painful. Suck it up and deal with it, but we still need to put a positive spin on it so we came up with this vomiting term." |
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EMEA
Europe, Middle East, Asia. If you work for a "global" company you'll hear this one a lot. Didn't this used to be called "eurasia"? That wasn't good enough? |
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end-to-end (E2E)
From start to finish, usually used when gloating about your company's capabilities. |
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engage
Just a more vomitous sounding word for "involve." I want to "engage" the IT group in this project. Sam is an engaged member of the team. |
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Engines running (up/down)
Used to describe whether a file/web server is online or not. Example: "The engines are up and running, full steam ahead!" Yet another sorry attempt to make a bland lifeless job more exciting and failing miserably. |
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