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pain point
Generally a reoccurring annoyance in a process or software. Or the point between my eyes deep in my brain that throbs whenever someone says shit like this.
Usually a pain point is only addressed after it's made the lives of many miserable for a very long time. |
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paradigm shift/paralysis
When you realize your boss or supervisor is an asshole and you want to change jobs. |
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parking lot
Imaginary place meeting organizers/managers put dead issues, unresolved issues, or simply issues that need to be addressed later. Same place we'd all like to beat the shit out of such a person who'd use such a term. |
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Peanut Butter
Used as a synonym for "spread." Instead of simply saying "We'll spread the costs of this project over multiple departments," instead, saying "We'll peanut butter the costs . . ." A more recent term, but one that's on the rise. |
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penetration
The idea of gaining access to a company, market, or demographic. An overtly sexual term. |
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performance tuning
Improving an application or web site's speed or somehow altering the state of an organization to make things "run smoother". Could be a pathetic attempt at restructuring or simply just making redundancies or sunsetting resources. |
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pick your brain
Manager speak for "Take your ideas, and eventually claim them as my own if they are good; pin you for a moron if they aren't". Usually the words spoken to a resource when they've said just one too many things to make themselves sound like an expert in an area. A manager then wants to also gain that expertise, but really only wants your original ideas. "Pick your brain" also doubles as "office rape". Be vigilant (watch your ass). |
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ping
Not what you think - to contact someone as in "to ping someone." |
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pipeline
An imaginary thing that's usually filled with work, resources (existing or potential), action items, etc. Usually a pipeline's content is possitive though thus producing a virtual boner when it's full. |
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pitch (or throw) over the fence
shed yourself of responsibility by dumping your work on someone else. |
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plate (what's on your plate)
This is a dining/eating reference in regard to how much work you currently have going on or how much is on your plate. Usage: "I can't do that, I have too many projects, my plate is full." |
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POC
Proof Of Concept.
Piss Off Corpy. |
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point of contact (point person)
Someone who is the voice for an entire team or subgroup. Effective points of contact often maintain that they are "out of the loop" when challenges occur. |
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position it
A substitute for "I'd say it this way..." or "I'd put it like this..." Example use, "I'd position it to..."
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Positive
Term overused by No-Ops to make a conversation or action sound more important than it really was, e.g., "I had a very positive discussion with bla, bla, bla...." Oh yeah, so when can we expect a signed contract? Throw a few positives around at meetings, and watch your paycheck grow. |
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